Hang Onto Your Hats Because Brainball is a BIG MANCAT!

MaoMao here.

Yup, Brainball's a mancat, and of course we Ballicai knew that all along cuz we're smarter than beans and we can tell these things about our siblings, but beans aren't as smart as us kitties, ya know, and sometimes they mess stuff up, efun VET beans! Boy oh boy (pun intended) have we Ballicai got a story about Brainball -- and an update on his health to follow.

Efun though wekitties knew the trooth about Brainball all along, it's our sekretary -- MOMMA -- who got it wrong. Effurytime I said "bruther" about Brainball, Momma typed "sistur" cuz that's what she thought Brainball was. She was always gettin' wrong what I'd say onna bloggie and in my komments about havin' three sisturs. I got two sisturs and a BIG BRUTHER! Beans. What are ya gonna do about 'em! hehehe Well, at least she and Daddy's got a clue now.


Have ya stopped reelin' yet? Is anykitty really surprised, though, down deep? I mean, Brainball is GINORMOUS -- sixteen pounds at his "fightin' weight" and he's not fat, he's very tall and broad and big-boned! He's so huge that they couldn't efun put him in the kitty kennel at the vet's yesturday. They had to use the doggie kennel, ecksept they put him far away from the doggies.

And Brainball's furry maskuline in how he moves and how he acts. There's nothin' in his behavior that is femminine at all. He's a Big Tough Alpha Commando Cat. But still and all, he was mistaken fur a gurl by beans (and I still can't believe Momma wroted that he wore an evening gown at his Gotcha Day Party -- it was full-out Battle Dress Uniform, not no evening gown!). And yes, Brainball helped raise Dorydoo and adores her like a daughter, but he was like her kitty Daddy, not her kitty Momma! (Dorydoo did try to nurse on Brainball, though, when she was teensy-weensy... but he was furry patient with her.) But Momma's sorry she got effurybody so konfused about Brainball, all cuz she didn't know no bettur.

Annyhows, here's how the mix-up happuned then continued for six years:

When Momma and Daddy adopted Brainball back in 2001, aftur he'd been abandoned by those awful neighburs who moved away, neither of 'em had been around mancats furry much, espeshully Momma. She'd always had only gurl kitties! Not intenshunally, she likes all kitties the same, but that's just how things happuned fur her. And she kinda took Brainball fur a gurl because she couldn't see no walnuts -- Brainball must have had a hoo-ha-ectomy back when he lived with those awful neighbors. And Brainball's so fuzzy and floofy, Momma couldn't see where his hoo-has used to be. Like I said, at that time, she hadn't been around mancats much.

So when Momma and Daddy adopted Brainball, they called him a gurl but was gonna have the vet say what he was when he was tooked for his checkup. And that first vet (we go to anuther vet now!) said Brainball wuz a gurl, prob'ly fur the same reazon Mom did; Brainball had a hoo-ha-ectomy inna past and he's SUPER fuzzy on his rear end (Mom and Dad call him "Fuzzy Britches" for good reason), and I guess the vet couldn't figure out where his skrotum was in all that fuzz (seems like the vet would look fur the most obvious thing, a boyish wee wee, but he didn't, go figyure -- the people at that first vet's office were good about a lot of things fur the time we Ballicai went to 'em, but they always seemed kinda hurried, and that's prob'ly why that one vet mis-sexed Brainball).

Anyway, just ofur the past year in the course of lookin' aftur the feral kitties, Momma and Daddy switched to a superduper new vet who's closur to home; they take lotsa time with kitties and their beans, and Momma and Daddy were furry impressed. So Momma and Daddy decided to switch alla us Ballicai ofur to this new vet, but Brainball hadn't gotted to go yet. And when Brainball gotted so sick yesturday and they took him to the new vet, they founded out, beyond any doubt, that Brainball's a Big Alpha Mancat who'd had a hoo-ha-ectomy inna past and not an Alpha Ladycat aftur all.

And ya know what, the news didn't surprise Momma or Daddy one bit (efun though they're havin' to do some major pronoun adjustment, sayin' "he" instead of "she"). Momma has actually been suspecktin' the trooth fur a while. She hadn't said nothin' about it to nobody but Daddy, but since she started workin' with a feral colony last year and she's been around kitties of both sexes, she's bekome more and more aware of behavioral differunces between lady cats and mancats -- and the more she observed Brainball in a multicat household, especially with me and Marilyn joinin' the family ofur the past year, she'd been wonderin' more and more if maybe both she and the first vet were furry furry wrong about Brainball bein' a gurl and that maybe he was a boy.

Momma feels like a dunce, but she and Daddy have laughed ofur this a whole lot -- and she fessed up to the new vet that ofur six years of havin' Brainball, she and Daddy had been callin' him a girl, not a boy. They all laffed -- they saw the humor, and alla us do, too.

I guess Momma can be cut some slack since she ain't a vet and when she first adopted Brainball she had pretty much zero experience with mancats, but we Ballicai still can't believe the first vet couldn't figyure out what the heck Brainball is. That vet, bottom line, was prob'ly in too much in a hurry. We're glad we have the superduper good new vet now.

Momma and Daddy are glad that Brainball is a unisex nickname. Brainball's real name is C.J. (for Calamity Jane, but now Calamity Jim!). But Momma really wishes she could turn back the years and have Brainball properly sexed -- she would have named him King Leonidas (and still have Brainball as a nickname). Oh well! King Leo can be anothur nickname, I reckon. A cat can nefur have too many nicknames! And Brainball has a brand new nickname from Daddy: "Ol' Boy" (he calls me, MaoMao, "Li'l Feller").

Okeydokeys, now on to Brainball's Health Update! He's doin' bettur and bettur as time goes by. Today, he cuddled up in Daddy's lap and purred, he rubbed against Momma's legs and purred, and he has peed a lot, too, cuz of the subkootaneous flooids the vet gave him yesturday.

He seems strongur (he was weak yesturday and he didn't like that one bit!) and he's efun doin' some of his Alpha Cat patrols, on a furry limmited basis. He's eatin' bettur -- so far today, he's eated Temptayshuns (he gobbled those like they were doin' outta style!), and Momma tried youkitties' wunnerful suggestion of mikrowaving stinky goodness for a short time to make it extra stinky and nice and warm. Momma crushed up one of Brainball's pills in the extra stinky goodness and he ated it! And he's also eated some dry foodies, which is a furry good thing.

She's still got to get anuthur pill down him -- he's gotta take two pills, a steroid pill and an antibiotick pill, effury day fur the next two weeks. And he's also gotta take yogurt effury day because of the antibiotick, ecksept Brainball don't like yogurt so Momma will prob'ly have to sqwirt it down his throte with a syringe the vet gave her. He's also gotta have eyedroppies efurry day, two times a day, fur his conjunctivitis. He ain't gonna like that one bit.

Efun though things are gettin' bettur, Brainball still feels undur the weathur, and he's sleepin' inna closet a lot (that's his Lion's Den where he goes when he wants really quiet private sleep in a housie with two beans and three othur Ballicai). But Momma's gonna do efurrything she can to get his meds in him effury day so he can keep feelin' bettur, and she's so happy he's been eatin' bettur today.

So please keep purrin' fur us! We all love our big Alpha MANCAT furry much, hehehe.

Love and kissies to my sweetie Ariel!

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Update (in Brainball's words): Yes, I am Mancat, hear me ROAR! Finally the beans have got it straight, sheesh.

I'll go straight to the meat of the matter, as an Alpha Mancat should. I've gotten my medications today, and I've got to say that my Dad is the best Cat Dad a Mancat could have. He and I have a very close bond, and though I love Mom, Dad and I are co-Alphas and we watch each other's backs as though we were soldiers in battle. I trust him with my life.

Dad had Mom get everything ready -- the eyedrops, the syringe with the solution, and the pills, with some butter to help the pills go down easy, and with both of us in mission-oriented mode, Dad pulled me into his lap and administered all the medicine quickly and efficiently. Then he gave me lots of treats, and though I'm going to take a nap now, I know he'll give me a great Mancat Massage when I get back up.

I'm continuing to eat better -- treats, dry food, wet food, and I haven't had to have tuna to entice me to eat, though Mom is warming my stinky goodness in the microwave.

Oh, it feels good to be acknowledged as a mancat at last! Love and my sincerest gratitude to everyone -- cat and bean -- on the Cat Blogosphere, and Mom says to keep those purrs coming.

Added later: Patches of the gorgeous (va va va voom...!) Piney Woods Girlcats asked me if I have a Significant Other. No, I don't. I've been a bachelor all this time, even when I was thought to be a ladycat *harrrrumph!*, but as an older and mature mancat, I like the idea of settling down. As long as my ladycat didn't mind my battle-dress uniforms, time spent on Alpha Cat Patrols, and my combat boots *big mancat grin*, I would love her, defend her, and honor her forever.