Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Truth About Evil Coffee Stirrers!

Chairman Mao here, and I wanna warn all you kitties about Coffee Stirrers. Chances are, they're lurkin' in your house if your humans drink coffee. To humans, they look harmless, but we kitties know better. We know that Coffee Stirrers are pure evil: they're the awfullest, most unthinkable-est, unspeakable-est evil there is.

And it's up to us brave kitties to fight their evil menace.

Here's what one looks like. As you can see, Momma's casually holdin' it by one end, and she's got no clue about the depth of evil that lurks in that thing. Poor humans. That's why they need us kitties to protect them from such horrible creatures. If I wasn't such a brave boy, I'd shiver just at the sight of it.



Here's my sister Brainball, a Veteran Coffee Stirrer Warrior. She's fought hundreds of 'em, maybe thousands, and she's kicked their butts (well, she would have if they had butts) every time. As you can see, she's lookin' at this one with her Bad Ass Thousand Yard Stare, gettin' ready to strike.



And here's my sister, Dorydoo. She was nappin' on Daddy's jacket when an Evil Coffee Stirrer snuck up on her. In this picture the Coffee Stirrer is playin' dead, but Dorydoo's real smart and knows better than to fall for that ol' trick.



And here, Marilyn's in butt-kicking mode with the Evil Coffee Stirrer. She's usually real mellow and gentle, but let a coffee stirrer show itself while she's lounging on her yellow jellybean and watch out... she morphs into a Warrior Ballicus!



And here's me, Chairman Mao, goin' hell bent for leather, getting ready to grab the coffee stirrer and flip it up and around for the killing bite. I'm an amazing Coffee Stirrer Warrior, even if I say so myself. Another Coffee Stirrer vanquished!


So anytime you see Evil Coffee Stirrers skulkin' around your housies, kill 'em. Humans have no idea how evil they are 'cause only kitties can see it. Isn't it wonderful to be kitties and to be able to protect our humans from such terrible creatures as Evil Coffee Stirrers!

19 comments:

Daisy said...

Oh wow, all of the Ballicus cats are great coffee-stirrer warriors! I especially like Brainball's fierce warrior expression. I usually just chew on the sticks like gum. But now that I know the truth about how evil they are, I will not let them fool me!

Parker said...

Wow, thanks for the warning... We're just glad our human's drink their coffee black! It's enough we have to keep guard over the evil Q-Tips every morning when Mommy puts her make-up on. That alone wears us out for the rest of the day!

Forty Paws said...

Oh my GOSH!!! We had no idea!! There aren't any evil coffee stirrers in our house. We checked. But we will be on the lookout for any that sneak in. Thank you for the warning!

Luf, Us

Pee Ess. Thank you for the birthday wishes! Luf, Bow

Lux said...

Gosh, you guys are definitely all on the job, protecting your humans! I don't think I've ever seen any of those things, though.

Jake and Bathsheba said...

Wow, I had no idea there was such a menace out there! Thanks for the alert. My dad drinks lots of coffee, but I guess I should be relieved that he uses a regular spoon.

Thanks for stopping by with birthday wishes!

~Jake

jeter harris said...

it would be fun to bat da evil coffee stirrer arownd fer a while. heer, in dis howse, mi mom an dad yooz da coffee spoon. it'z not az much fun fer playin wid.
i will talk to dem abowt da stirrerz.
luv--jh

Kimo & Sabi said...

Wowy wow! Fanks fer the heads up on the evilness of da coffee stirrers! We have never seen one before in our house but will keep our eyes peeled! Have you eve seen da eveil "twist ties?" Now, dat's some evil lurking - they hides in yer carpet and spring up on you when yer walkin' around.

Bad Kitty Cats & Megan said...

Oh we did not know about these Evil Coffee Stir things, our mom get's stupid on coffee our dad-man says. She isn't allowed. He must already know about them because he says he does his coffee black and does not need stir things. Hmm, we must hunt for information. You all are very very brave for fighting these sir thingys off. We are a bit scared. Purrs to you all.

Dragonheart said...

Thanks for the warning about evil coffee stirrers Mao! You are all great warriors. My mom doesn't drink coffee and my dad only has one cup at work, so I have never seen a coffee stirrer before!

Skeezix said...

KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

Wow, you are fantastic. Thank goodness mommy and daddy don't drink coffee, but Parker is right. Q-tips are evil too. They clean our ears. Ack!
Keep on keeping your house safe from those evil coffee stirrers. I'm glad you have good back up from your sisters.

Caesar + Prinnie said...

Every one of you is on fire with these horrible brown stick "coffee stirrers". We are really impressed.

Artsy Catsy said...

It's good to know that all you brave kitties are fighting the evildoers and will accept no outcome but victory!! We've been holding up our end of the battle by launching attacks on the plastic rings that come on bottles of milk and juice!

Onward!
Rocky
& the Artsy Catsy warriors

Chairman Mao said...

Thanks, everybodies, for lending your support as we Ballicai stand vigilant against the Evil Coffee Stirrer Menace! And yeah, what Kimo and Sabi said about evil twist ties, and what Artsy Catsies said about evil milk rings -- how true! There are all kinds of things that humans think are purr-fectly normal, but we cats know better!

Kittyhugs and purrs to everybodies!

Oreo said...

Kewl! I wanna kill sum!

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Your family is lucky that cats are so brave & willing to face such a terrible enemy. Our humans drink their coffee black, whatever that means, so we never see those things at our house, but now that we know what they are, we can keep a lookout!

Chairman Mao said...

Hi there, Oreo, and George, Tipper, Max & Misty! It's a good thing we kitties are so brave, fearless and fearsome. No Evil Coffee Stirrer could ever hope to mess with our humans, with us in the house to protect 'em!

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

Hi Mao! I wanted to tell you I tagged you for a MeMe where we find out more about our friends. This one is 5 reasons why you blog.

Chairman Mao said...

Hi there, Mr. Hendrix! Goody, thanks for taggin' me! I love memes.

Kittyhugs and purrs!