Chairman Mao here, and I wanna warn all you kitties about Coffee Stirrers. Chances are, they're lurkin' in your house if your humans drink coffee. To humans, they look harmless, but we kitties know better. We know that Coffee Stirrers are pure evil: they're the awfullest, most unthinkable-est, unspeakable-est evil there is.
And it's up to us brave kitties to fight their evil menace.
Here's what one looks like. As you can see, Momma's casually holdin' it by one end, and she's got no clue about the depth of evil that lurks in that thing. Poor humans. That's why they need us kitties to protect them from such horrible creatures. If I wasn't such a brave boy, I'd shiver just at the sight of it.
Here's my sister Brainball, a Veteran Coffee Stirrer Warrior. She's fought hundreds of 'em, maybe thousands, and she's kicked their butts (well, she would have if they had butts) every time. As you can see, she's lookin' at this one with her Bad Ass Thousand Yard Stare, gettin' ready to strike.
And here's my sister, Dorydoo. She was nappin' on Daddy's jacket when an Evil Coffee Stirrer snuck up on her. In this picture the Coffee Stirrer is playin' dead, but Dorydoo's real smart and knows better than to fall for that ol' trick.
And here, Marilyn's in butt-kicking mode with the Evil Coffee Stirrer. She's usually real mellow and gentle, but let a coffee stirrer show itself while she's lounging on her yellow jellybean and watch out... she morphs into a Warrior Ballicus!
And here's me, Chairman Mao, goin' hell bent for leather, getting ready to grab the coffee stirrer and flip it up and around for the killing bite. I'm an amazing Coffee Stirrer Warrior, even if I say so myself. Another Coffee Stirrer vanquished!
So anytime you see Evil Coffee Stirrers skulkin' around your housies, kill 'em. Humans have no idea how evil they are 'cause only kitties can see it. Isn't it wonderful to be kitties and to be able to protect our humans from such terrible creatures as Evil Coffee Stirrers!